This is some notes and clues to the Universe of Space Hippy. This is where the shit goes down fo' sho' anyway, whatevs.

FORUMS!

why two boxes?
I HATE TWO BOXES

Space Hippy Universe:

The Galaxy of la Milky Way is a galaxy that while bountiful in milk, lacks a great deal of morals and in addition is controlled by mega corporations. Although, it does make it a great deal easier to get a cheeseburger this way, even if the galaxy is in economic ruin.

The reason the Galaxy is controlled by corporations is as follows; They went back in time. While this is a simple explanation to what is obviously a complex thing, it’s what went down. Major corporations banded together in the future, but they figured out they could control the universe if they had just had an earlier start. So, they made a time machine and sent a great deal of their industry back to the year 1213. From there they expanded rampantly across the face of Earth, and then spread out among the stars. The corporate armies and empires were quickly forged, and by the year 2007 a good part of the galaxy was under these nasty corporations. How gross. Wal-Mart brought Sam Walton back to life, and Zombie Walton led Wal-Mart’s forces into the Walmartian empire, while Walt Disney was unfrozen, his body put into a massive robot several… hundred…. Stories tall. The universe was a fucked up place before this happened, and now its just weird.

            The mega-corporations and groups of Space Hippy are as follows:

Holy Empire of Microsoft

            The Holy Empire of Microsoft is one of the major six corporations that dominate the galaxy as we know it. There citizens are primarily catholic and the Space Pope is second only to the mega computer in which Bill Gates resides. Microsoft rules over 8.5% of the Milky Way galaxy and recent industry insiders have suspected Microsoft making a bid to ‘buy out’ Ebay and it’s subsidiaries.

            Owns: Facebook, MSN, Yahoo!, Fiat, Ferrari, IBM, HP, Allstate, Vivendi (Universal studios, TiVo, Universal Music Group, and Vivendi Games)

 

Daimler-Kenmore

            Daimler-Kenmore marks it’s place as the smallest of the major corporations, controlling only 7.3% of the galaxy, but also as the most recorce rich. They maintain a large control over manufacturing and production and there compact size combined with there production capabilities makes them almost completely immune to rival buyouts.

            Owns: Shell, British Petrolium, Kenmore, Daimler-Benz, Porche, Volkswagon, BMW, Ikea, Airbus, EMI, and Verizon

 

Sony Conglomerate

            The Sony conglomerate is an empire on the rise as it’s recent acquisition of Nintendo in the counsil wars of ’98. They control a whopping 9.1% of the galaxy, just short of the Walmartian Empires size. They maintain a large control over film, electronics, and entertainment fields.

            Owns: Sony BMG, Playstation, Columbia Pictures, TriStar entertainment, Nintendo, Toyota, Honda, Friendster, and MGM

 

PepsiCo-Starbucks Alliance

            PepsiCo-Starbucks is the newest of the major corporations and the fastest growing with a whopping 7.8% of the galaxy under there domination in only a handful of decades. They create the trends and are noted as the ‘cool’ corporation.

            Owns: Pepsi, Starbucks, Viacom (MTV, VH1, Paramount, Dreamworks, BET, MTV studios) Yum! (KFC, Taco Bell, Long John Silvers, Pizza Hut) Apple, Borders, Hollister, Hot Topic, AT&T Esurance

 

Walmartian Empire

            The largest of the major corporations with 9.8% of the galaxy under there sway, the Walmartian Empire is a massive block of consumerist hicks. They constantly attempt to buy out nearby corporations and only there unimaginable greed and stupidity revent them from taking over the galaxy.

            Owns: Walmart, Ford, News Corporation (Fox, Myspace, HarperCollins, 20^th century Fox, Berishire Hathaway (GEICO, Dairy Queen, American express, Comcast, General Electric, Kraft Foods) Marlbro Cigarettes, Texaco, Exxon, Mobil, Nextel, Barnes and Noble

 

Disney Presents: Coke-a-Cola

            The most fanatical of all the empires, the mid sized corporation controls about 7.6% of the galaxy. They put massive importance upon there brand name and thusly have an immenly loyal populace.

            Owns: Disney, Coke-a-Cola, Camel Cigarettes, McDonalds, Burger King, Wendys, Pixar, GMC, State Farm

This accounts for 50.1% of the galaxy, the other 49.9% is ruled by a large amount of much smaller companies, of which only four of them have control of more than .1% of the galaxy (Google with .4%, Target and Adobe with .2% and EA with .1%)

And in addition… there is one place feared by all corporation, a place filled with danger and power. The one and only person who could ever strike fear into the mega corporations. The thing that makes Walt Disney cry, Sam Walton crawl back in his grave, the greatest of all empires…

Santa Hole

Santa

Penguins

A Brief Bit of History:
             In 1492 Columbus did indeed sail the ocean blue. Traveling with three ships, it was a quickly made exodus. They fled from one shore too another too escape the wars of brother on brother.

            Ancient fortresses dot the land, from holy Europe too far east Japan. They are the beasts of the lord, an unstoppable unholy horde. There was the pope and his Microsoft land waging war against Sony’s Japan. Then the forces of the north, dhymler-kenmore and their wild hordes. In the west was the new world order, PepsiCo-Starbucks on the southern border. With them came the others, Disney’s Coke fanatical yoke along with Wal-Mart doing their unholy part. Of all the lands of the earth, where had these being been given birth?

            Only the Santa hole to the north, with their penguin hordes coming forth, was safe though indeed it was an odd place. This left Columbus in a fix, for he wanted away from these corporate pits. They sailed away too the south, fleeing corporate gaping mouths. With hope they sailed too a new land untouched and unknown by all, even from Sony’s Japan never too be seen again. Let us hope for their happy end.

            E.G.

            Columbus and the three ships ended up in South America, where they were later discovered during the Microsoft Empire’s buyout of southern America just a few years later. They were found with their small town along with a large supply of cocaine, and all of them slaughtered. Brutally, utterly slaughtered. They died.

Planets of the Galaxy:

El Dorado:

            El Dorado is a planet controlled by the El Dorado cigarette corporation, one of the many subsidiary companies of the Pepsico-Starbucks Conglomerate. Due to that fact, everyone smokes. Everyone. Cigarettes are cheap, cool, and recommended by every government doctor to increase your lifespan and whiten your teeth. All of this, combined with amazingly poor environmental controls and a dying steel industry, makes the planet essentially unlivable, not to mention a bit smoggy. And to make horrible things even more disgusting, the planet is also a war zone. For, just across the border the null of space provided, lies the Smokey the Bear Confederation, one of the most violent provinces of the Walmartian Empire. The confederation is known for its liberal use of genetic manipulation, and a very large dislike for forest fires. There army of axe-wielding trouser-wearing grizzly bears is feared throughout the galaxy as pointlessly brutal and clinically insane. El Dorado is known for its cheap docking fee, and also the fact that you usually leave with some form of cancer. Prostate is the most common, but a great deal of people coming through got lung cancer as well. Not the best of places, but people still live there because they figure it can’t be much worse than anywhere else, and to be honest they are right for the most part. The Universe sucks.